Boyfriend's Army
by Lady Oichi
Summary: Lupinranger VS Patoranger: What exactly WERE the guys doing during the GIRLFRIEND'S ARMY movie? Featuring Kairi, Touma, Keiichiro, and Sakuya, with hints of Sakuya/Umika, Kairi/Tsukasa, and Keiichiro/Mana


I came up with this awhile back. I'm actually not comfortable yet writing comically, but I hope this will improve my writing skills overtime.

It doesn't really spoil anything, so there's no warning today :)

DISCLAIMER: I wrote the story, I don't own or work for Toei

* * *

"Now don't come back until the end of the day." Umika told her fellow Lupinrangers pushing them out of the Bistro. "I have things I need to take care of."

"Aw come on, I don't see why we need to leave the-"

"I SAID LEAVE!" She yelled slamming the door in Kairi's face. Touma looked back at the door with a frown.

Kairi stood there with his hands on his hips. "You do know we have Lupin Collection pieces that can get us back inside right?"

"You do that and I'll tell everyone you're the Lupinrangers." She threatened behind the door.

"Wait what? What makes you think we won't tell everyone you're Lupin Yellow?!"

"Kairi, it's pointless." Touma told him dragging him by the back of his collar. "Let's go."

"Eh? Wait a minute!" He argued being pulled backwards by the older gentleman.

 _A FEW MINUTES LATER…_

"Man, what's gotten into her?" Kairi said massaging his neck. "Is she like PMSing or something?"

Touma kept walking keeping a neutral face. "Who knows."

Eventually they made their way to an outdoor café. A waiter sat them down and took their orders. A little while later he returned with their coffees and excused himself.

Kairi grabbed himself a sugar packet and poured it into his drink. "Say, why don't we just sneak back in? It's not like she'll notice."

"Too much is at risk, it's not worth it." He replied sipping his coffee.

"Too much is at risk?" He stirred his drink. "Jeez, you act like she knows one of your secrets, and you're just about an open book. What kind of dirt could she possibly have on you?" He gestured with a nod.

Touma put down his cup and glared at him.

Kairi shriveled back in fear. "Never mind then." He shook his head and put down his spoon. "Well, at least it's peaceful around here…" He picked up the cup and raised it to his lips.

"Kairi-tachi!"

Kairi sucked in a breath as well as the coffee before sputtering and coughing on nearly half the table. Touma nonchalantly waved down a waiter and requested for more napkins.

Footsteps belonging to Sakuya and Keiichiro made their way towards the table where they were sitting.

"What brings you two here?" Sakuya asked taking a seat in one of the empty chairs followed by Keiichiro.

"Secrets…" Kairi growled shaking his head as the waiter brought them more napkins.

"Hmm? Secrets?" Sakuya inquired.

Touma glared at the younger thief before turning to the new comers. "Umika kicked us out of the Bistro."He explained.

"Hmm, that's strange."

"Yeah, tell me about it." Kairi said irritably. He took a long sip from his coffee. "So what brings you two out here?"

"Tsukasa mentioned something about a Gangler, but she said she didn't want any help taking it down." Keiichiro replied. "So we've been out here looking for any signs of it just in case."

Touma and Kairi gave each other a look.

"Well, since we're out here anyway," Sakuya said leaning towards Kairi. "Tell me more about Umika-chan." He said with a gleam in his eyes. "What's she like?"

"Bossy and loud." Kairi grumbled into his cup.

"Oh? That sounds just like you, sempai!"

"I'm not bossy and loud!" He defended standing up. The men at the table looked at him questionably. "Well, I am a bit loud." He admitted embarrassed. "But, Tsukasa's the one who's bossy. I know it seems like I call all the shots-and sometimes I do-but Tsukasa's the one ordering me around; 'Keiichiro do this. Keiichiro do that. You're going to end up all alone if you don't do something Keiichiro.'" He mimicked the way she would cross her arms and roll her eyes. "It's so annoying." He said exasperated.

"Hmm, that's true too." Sakuya concurred.

"Oh, the big bad Keiichiro's being ordered around by a woman." Kairi said crossing his arms smirking. "That's my kind of woman."

"Oi." Touma said looking at him.

"Hmm?"

"Fix your face, it's creepy."

"It's not creepy!"

"Oh, so you're interested in Tsukasa-sempai." Sakuya put an arm around him. "I'll tell you all about Tsukasa-sempai's likes and hobbies if you tell me all about Umika-chan's."

"Why would you want to know about her?" He said shrugging off his arm. "Umika likes to give orders rather than just taking them; Kairi-kun pick up the pace! Touma-kun at least smile when the customers walk-in! Stop slacking off Kairi! Touma-kun I told you not to leave the seat up! I thought you were a gentleman! Mou, Touma-kun. Don't leave your underwear on the bathroom floor again!"

Touma's face was starting to turn red. Sakuya covered his mouth to stop himself from bursting, while Keiichiro turned around and choked back his laughter. Touma calmly exhaled before speaking to the group. "She does have a tendency to take charge." He confessed.

"Man, why are all women like that?" Kairi complained leaning back into his chair.

"I wouldn't say _all_ women are like that." Touma told him, thinking about Aya.

"Yeah, Mana-san's not like that at all." He agreed. "Right Keiichiro sempai?" He jokingly elbowed his superior in the side.

"Oh? So that's who Keii-chan likes." He said pointing at him. "No wonder he's in a good mood every time she walks in."

"It's very obvious isn't it?" Sakuya agreed. "I think they make quite a pair."

"Chigau!" Keiichiro said getting flustered.

"If Keii-chan and Mana get married, what do you think their kids will be like?"

"Really cute. But, if they have Keiichiro-sempai's mind-set, then they'll be really loud; cute, but loud."

"Hopefully they'll take after their mom then." Touma added his two cents.

"Yeah but, what if Mana is just as loud as Keii-chan, and secretly bossy like all the other women?"

"Then they'll be mini Keiichiro-sempais." Sakuya said getting all excited. "Ah, kakkoi!"

"Enough!" Keiichiro shouted. The other tables around them stopped and stared at them. He bowed and waved at them apologetically. "This conversation isn't about me, remember? It's about Tsukasa and Umika."

"Yeah…"They all sighed in unison.

Kairi flagged down their waiter. "Can we get another round of coffees please?" He gestured for the entire table.

Sakuya and Keiichiro began to dig out their wallets, but Touma held up a hand to stop them. "It's on us." He said with a smile.

* * *

The sun had nearly disappeared from view by the time they returned to the Jurer Bistro.

"She better not tell us we have to stay out a little longer." Kairi grumbled.

Touma stuck his keys in the door and let them in. "Tadaima-"

"Kairi-kun!"

The men were surprised to see an over joyous Tsukasa running toward them, well, Kairi specifically. Just as she grabbed the front of his jacket, she was tugged away by a very stern Umika.

"Mou, Umika-chan no more!" Tsukasa whined being hauled back to a table that seated a small girl sewing a stuffed animal.

"Nope, no mercy Tsukasa-san." She chided. "If you want to get better, you have to keep practicing."

"But Umika-chan!" Tsukasa held up her fingers. "My fingers hurt. They've been poked with the needle too many times."

"Well," Umika examined her fingers. "A little bit more practice and you'll be fine." She said cheerfully.

Tsukasa groaned into the table.

"Gambatte Tsukasa-san." The girl at the table told her. "See. I just finished reattaching his tail." She turned the bear around and showed off her handy work. "Thank you again Umika-san, I'd better be getting home now. See you later!"

Umika waved to the young girl as she skipped out the door.

"Oh, and I just remember there's a report I need to take care of too-" Tsukasa got up only to be pushed back down into her seat.

"Nice try Miss GSPO officer. Now, one more time. Ready? Go!"

As Umika was giving instructions to Tsukasa, the male Lupinrangers quietly whispered among themselves.

"Hey, Touma."

"Hmm?"

"Do you think that…we should have been out a little longer…?"

They both turned to a wailing Tsukasa as she pricked her finger again.

"I think so…"

* * *

 **Author's Note: So, tell me what you guys thought of it. I kind of wanted to make a Boyfriend's Army 2 or Chapter 2 where Noel gives his input on the women as well. We'll see how that turns out. Oh, and if you're wondering why I put Mana in the story, it's because even though she technically doesn't show up for another 3 or 4 episodes, Keiichiro and Mana must've interacted some time in between. I'd say they at least knew each other a month before they realized they had something special. Anyway, as always, leave a review and I write some more soon guys!**


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